Time Magazine still exists for some reason. And every year they name their 'Person of the Year,' also for some reason. The ten finalists were released today, and there are two names who -- if given this career-defining honor -- will provide us with the most entertainment: Elon Musk and Ron DeSantis.

Let's not get it twisted. I'm in no way advocating that the POTY matters. Though Janet Yellen should be disqualified for her problematic comments about black people. Vegas thinks it's fait accompli that the "award" will go to Volodymyr Zelenskyy since that would be the most virtue-signalish thing to do, Though "Gun Safety Advocates" provides strong competition.

I just ask you to join me in praying to the gods of content that the award goes to either Elon Musk or Ron DeSantis. The meltdowns for either will be glorious.

We got a taste of anti-Elon meltdowns when he was given the award in 2021. Musk upped his person-of-the-yeariness in 2022 by buying Twitter. Leftists and the media (but I repeat myself) refuse to calm down about it. If Elon is awarded another magazine cover, the reaction will be similar to feeding Alka-Seltzer to a pigeon. With any luck, Ligma Johnson will write the accompanying article.

A Ron DeSantis victory would be interesting because it wouldn't be exclusively liberals melting down. The left would still be leading the charge though. They spent a year calling DeSantis a killer and elventy different kinds of a -phobic. Nothing stuck. He faced it all and he stood tall. The only thing left is to do 2024 his way.

So to the gods of content, I beseech you. Please, in your divine wisdom, grant onto either man this meaningless award and allow it to deliver an abundance of meltdowns, angry tweets, and shakyfists. In the name of the holy page view, we pray. Amen.

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