Having trouble explaining to your son why his genitals are bleeding every month? Didn't think so, what with that not being a thing in all dimensions of our reality. Regardless, somebody thought there was an untapped niche market of menstruating men. A new children's book called "Toni the Tampon," seeks to teach the cherub-faced munchkins all things menstruation. Including how "men" sometimes get periods too...

Toni and an accompanying cast of menstruation-themed friends are starring in a 20-page coloring book called The Adventures of Toni the Tampon, illustrated by Clemmer. And it's all an effort to destigmatize menstruation for the masses.

Toni the Tampon isn't a female character either. Clemmer created the tampon, who goes by a gender-ambiguous name, as a form of representation for genderqueer people with periods. "I'd rather help just one genderqueer or trans menstruator feel like they were seen, then sell a thousand copies..."

Methinks she won't have to worry about selling thousands of copies...

The artist was intentional about bringing diverse gender representation to the book's cast of characters, hoping to create something that was "affirming to all menstruators."

According to Clemmer, you can't have menstruation without men. Speaking of which, isn't the term menstruation a bit "problematic?" Smells like patriarchy. And copper. Sound the feminist alarm!

But seriously, this seems like something with which feminists should take issue. Leftists keep making all womanly things into gender neutral things (see UK Bans Doctors From Saying 'Mother.' Must Use Gender-Neutral Term Instead...). As a refresher: men don't get periods. Women get periods. Thus, menstruation is not a dude issue. Seems like rather simple stuff, yet here we are...

Also, there's nothing coloring book worthy about periods. Let's not mislead the babes. Periods mean waddling from the couch to the kitchen in desperate search of chocolate while one's innards are seeping out. Everyday issues become twenty times more infuriating, resulting in buckets of irrational tears. Specifically chocolate wrappers and Midol boxes. This "Toni" author wants people to be more open and have conversations about their periods. Real Period Talk is not happening in this propaganda coloring book. Because when on one's period, one opens one's mouth to complain or pound food and painkillers.

It's you versus your enraged uterus and guess who's losing? You. Also your uterus. And everyone within a 10-mile radius, all because HORMONES. Put the donut down, step back. Slowly. Make no sudden movements lest the blood rage monster eats you whole. WE CLEAR?

It's the price we pay for being the fairer sex. And no, man-trannies, you can't possibly know what it's like to be a woman. See above. Menstruation is but one area of femininity on which you'll always miss out. An aspect many of us wish we could forgo entirely, thanks.

Periods suck, but it's our thing. I care not if transgenders experience bleeding from the genital area post-surgery. That's an entirely different thing. Get your own thing, transgenders, and stop trying to peddle your agenda to kids (see OPINION: Dear Liberals, Stop Exploiting 'Transgender' Children). It's embarrassing.

Speaking of embarrassing...

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