Last night during the Golden Globes, Oprah's self-important speech had people demanding she run in the 2020 presidential election. If you watched the awards show, what is wrong with you? You can never get those hours of your life back. Wasteful. Children in Africa could have used those hours to find water before waking up on the other side of the ground.

I sat through the entirety of Oprah's speech. I almost nodded off on account it was 9 minutes long. Like she didn't prepare for that. We'll give Oprah one thing: she's well spoken. Now the interwebs are exploding with dragon-sized accolades for the idealist.

1. NBC Cockalorums

About her discussion on the attack of the media. They fired the first, second, third... and 1,000th shot. The media is as unbiased as "The Rock" is a vegan.

2. CNN Live Updates

CNN has the tendency to open every news story with, "just in, breaking, or developing" (see Crowder’s 16-Hour CNN Torture Livestream Christmas Special!). It's their best effort at getting the attention of their remaining three viewers.

It follows their character to give live updates on Oprah's hint at a 2020 election run. Pay no minds to real-world issues like the MS-13 gang, human trafficking, or the tar heroin epidemic.

Or people dying. They save that slot for after the Diet Coke special and before the Trump-resembling dog ear discussion.

• Oprah 2020? Two of Oprah Winfrey's close friends tell CNN she is "actively thinking" about running for president.

• "A new day is on the horizon": The speculation that Winfrey might run comes after she gave a rousing speech at the Golden Globes.

3. Reese Witherspoon

This would be hilarious if it were satire. As reality, it's fresh cut onions in the eyes of self-respecting Americans. Those who attended the "Shining Sphere Awards" have fostered a fairly rapish culture. Thus the proclamations of support on social media and loud clapping. Maybe if they slam their palms together hard enough, it'll purge the guilt from their corrupt souls.

4. Ava DuVernay

If you don't know who this person is, that's okay. Neither do I. Google told me she was the director of the film "Salem." I remember seeing something about that in a Rotten Tomatoes review.

This lady could be one of those "woman directors" Natalie Portmann was so persistent about giving exposure. Funny thing is, if she was worth exposing, she would have done it herself. That came out wrong. Especially in the light of the #MeToo movement. I'm so insensitive.

5. Kamala Harris

The last horizon I heard Opera talk about was the ability to eat bread and lose a few inches while still remaining fat.

I'd actually call that a sunset on the good years. When I first read this tweet, I thought it was from some looney who was summarizing the Oprah speech. I didn't realize she was quoting it. I also neglected to bring my harmonica to join along in her rendition of kumbaya.

Out of all the fantastical worlds leftists have created, Oprah has been encouraging irrational brain titillating the longest. She loves socialism. Giving everyone free stuff. That, or she knows no one will buy her books themselves. You get kindling, and you get kindling, and you get kindling.

Summary of it all? Leftists are so desperate to have a politician who isn't too old or too busy riding broomsticks to run a good election. They want someone to fix everything. They need mama to kiss their boo-boos.

The left has chosen Oprah. It's not as obnoxious as it is pathetic.

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