Bud Light's Keys to DERPtory

In case you missed the Bud Light drama:

1. Social media erupted in mockery when the beer hired controversial titface performer Dylan Mulvaney to sponsor their March Madness campaign. Passing over the thousands and thousands of women who are college basketball fans, they hired Dylan who in his portrayal as a girl presented, as one too basic to know what March Madness was.

2. Now disgraced marketing executive Alissa Heinerscheid went viral for a podcast appearance where she sh*t on Bud Light customers as fratty and out of touch.

3. In response to the growing anger of apolitical beer drinkers, the company released ads that were so over-the-top pandering, they exposed how little the NYC-based company thought of Bud Light's middle-class American customer base.

4. Customers decided if they wanted to drink cheap beer from a company that hates them, they'd switch to one smart enough not to say so out loud. Bud Light was dethroned as the #1 beer in America.

Core values

So Bud Light returned as a UFC sponsor. Only now they are coughing up a nine-figure amount to become the company's largest sponsorship ever. The global (of course) deal starts on January 1st.

The UFC's usually-based president Dana White said of the partnership, "There are many reasons why I chose to go with Anheuser-Busch and Bud Light, most importantly because I feel we are very aligned when it comes to our core values and what the UFC brand stands for."

Core values. A hundred million dollars.

Though we anxiously await Dana being asked about Dylan at the next UFC press conference.

So conservatives like Bud Light again now?

I know the media likes to play this up as conservatives lashing out over "inclusion" -- remember, only progressives are allowed to protest companies for political reasons -- but what cost Bud Light B-B-B-BILLIONS of dollars was the apolitical people in the center. Moderate Americans who rejected radical NYC progressives trying to ram a social agenda down the throats of people who were just trying to enjoy beer.

Every corporation has been doing it. Bud Light was one company too far, and Americans made an example out of them. Did the company learn their lesson? Do they even care about American consumers vs. the global market? To be determined.

We here at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website maintain our stance of choosing local beer over ones owned by giant corporations. Anywhere you live there are local brewers making much better beer than Bud Light's reconstituted bum piss. And if the brewers hold opposing viewpoints than you, they aren't dicks about it because they are focused on what truly matters. Beer.