Remember when replacing "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays" was enough to satisfy party-pooping leftists? Even though those same leftists continued on celebrating Christmas. They just didn't want to pay any acknowledgement to "Christ." But it's whatever. Well, consider the times of "Happy Holidays to you (cheerless hypocrites!)" a distant memory. The left is trying to derail the Polar Express yet again. Because now the term "holiday" is not inclusive enough. I peppermint crap you not...

Texas Woman’s University is offering tips for an “all-inclusive, multicultural” Christmas season, warning that the word “holiday” is no longer inclusive enough and advising that office parties should instead be called “end of semester parties.”

“When planning December office parties that coincide with the Christmas season, it is a challenge for event organizers to make celebrations ‘all-inclusive,’” TWU explains in a news release. “Not all faith traditions have holidays in December, and not everyone identifies with a particular faith tradition.”

Instead, parties scheduled for December should be called “end of semester” parties, or for business-oriented offices, “end of fiscal year” parties.

So, I guess we had better make some changes. Lest leftists' feelings get shattered like a Christmas End of Fiscal Year ornament.

You can always count on butt-hurt leftists to try taking the fun out of everything. Some advice for you progressives: You'll never succeed. The Grinch tried to steal Christmas and failed. Worse, Cindy-Loo-Hoo touched his cold, cold heart, which then grew three sizes, thus reversing his Christmas-spoiling ways. Which means you leftists are nastier and meaner than a booger-green monster. How's your inclusivity meter now?

Here's a little irony bite about progressives and the Yuletide joy: Santa Claus should be their chubby mascot. He employs countless little people (probably in a union). His "green" sled is powered by reindeer rather than fossil fuels. Not least of all, though, he gives away free stuff just for the heck of it. We all know how much leftists love free stuff. Then again, I doubt all that many left-wingers are on the nice list. That's probably why the left hates coal so much.

Okay, sorry, back to the macro issue. Most Americans, not wanting to fight about it, gave in and allowed leftists to toss "Merry Christmas" in favor of "Happy Holidays." For the inclusivity, after all. Or as not to offend the Jews, the Muslims, or whatever you call people who celebrate Kwanza. But now "Happy Holidays" isn't enough. There are still people being excluded, don't you know. Like those Scrooges who don't celebrate any holiday at all! DON'T LEAVE THEM OUT BY WISHING THEM A MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU HATERS.

Lesson? To cite another famous childhood tale, if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk. Once you cave in on one demand from the left, others will follow. More taxes, more regulations, more gun control. All of America could turn into a lesbian, transgender hippie commune. Leftists would still be crying their eyes out about some made-up injustice.

So, since we can't do anything right by the left (and we don't care), we'd like to take this moment to wish you all a Merry Christmas. And a chance to win a scary black rifle...

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