Today I learned Cory Booker is a vegan. Now I'm sharing this "AHA!" moment with you, so you too can experience the zen-like understanding of the Democrats' most silly 2020 contender. Yes, the man with the splayed fingers and classic movie reference (singular), chooses soy over beef, tofu over chicken, misery over happiness. Now, like all hangry vegans, he wants you to join him in his abundant sadness. And like hangry vegans, his messaging is confused and all over the map. Finger Boy says people should go vegan because something something climate change something something sustainability, but really he just needs everyone to knock it off with their muscle gains and mental clarity. It's all a little confusing, as that seems to be the vegan state, but I'll aim to make sense of it. First let's go to the source from VegNews:

You see the planet earth moving towards what is the Standard American Diet. We’ve seen this massive increase in consumption of meat produced by the industrial animal agriculture industry. The tragic reality is this planet simply can’t sustain billions of people consuming industrially produced animal agriculture because of environmental impact.

He's partly right: in an ideal world, everyone probably would be better off getting their meat from smaller farms or hunting it themselves. Except we don't live in an ideal world. Besides, Cory Booker's version of an ideal world includes no plane travel, socialists running the entire system, and aggressive hand puppets. Maybe we should leave the meat industry to the free market.

Next clip:

It’s something we have to start talking about. It’s small farmers who are treating animals with better care and compassion, who are treating the environment in a more sustainable way that really speak to the farming traditions of our country being destroyed economically because of this corporate consolidation that is unsustainable.

See, the first part of the above is kinda right. But everything else is kinda wrong. Our country is not being destroyed economically because of some corporate consolidation of Big Beef, Big Chicken and Big Pork. What will destroy the USA economically is the socialist government Booker and his gal pal Ocasio-Cortez want to ring in. Read 8 STUPID Things You Need to Know about the Idiotic Green New Deal. Booker may not like it, but Americans love meat. So how the meat industry is destroying America economically is beyond me.

Here's where Booker slides head first down the slippery soy slope:

American consumers should not be told what to eat...

Amen!

...but if you provide viable alternatives, in some cases, that taste even better—and if people have more information, if we consumers are informed about whatever it is—the dangers of the overuse of plastics all the way to the conditions in which animals that we are consuming are being treated. I think if they’re given viable options, whether it’s milk that tastes great … I’ve seen incredible vegan cheese shops popping up across the country, and my friends who are lovers of cheese just can’t tell the difference.

Ah so, so close.

I'd tend to believe Booker on the whole "Imma let Americans decide on what's for dinner" had he not:

1. become a complete crazy person with the intellectual fortitude of a recycled cardboard box,
2. signed onto Ocasio-Cortez's oppressive Green New Deal which, among other things, calls for the elimination of cow toots. Watch Cory Booker Cheers the Progress of the Green New Deal When it Does the Exact Opposite.

I'm not sure how to get a cow to stop boofing. It's not as if grandpas are running up to cows to pull their fingers. The only way to stop something from passing gas is to no longer have it. No cow farts mean no cows. No cows mean people can no longer eat the cows, spread butter on their toast, or slap cheese on their burgers.

A world without cows is a world without joy.

Public service announcement: soy doesn't lactate. Ergo soy milk is a chemical process. Based on that, soy cheese probably isn't as healthy as you vegans think it is.

To sum this overly long post, I'm not an environmental expert. But neither are many people who claim to be. Like Booker and Cow Boof Stopper Cortez. What I do know about the environment and climate of our planet is it's much more complex than climate change alarmists make it out to be. "Saving the planet" doesn't mean we simply eliminate or discourage the primary nutritional staple of the species: meat. Those who think that simply shouldn't be taken seriously.

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