Okay, I'm not sure what the original source of this video is. I just know it was probably made in America, not to be confused with a firearms display in Kentucky passed off as violence in Syria. Thanks for the journalistic standards, ABC. Which means you need to take the following with buckets of salt, not just a grain. The video shows two adults who probably identify as ladies, pronouns "she/her," telling grade school students about all the joys of flicking the bean/tugging the snake. I use euphemisms because they're fun, which is more than I can say for the kids hearing weird sex stuff from adults who their favorite older siblings. Bet you thought I was going to type "parents" there. Head fake.

So at least three of the girls, the ones with curly hair, look the same. That's not a POC insult, it's a girls with curly hair who all look the same observation. Must be triplets. I'd never dare ask the mother if she used IVF, because that's totally inappropriate.

You know what else is totally inappropriate? Telling children who can't be older than 11, about self-pleasure by using the digits to stimulate the crotch serpent and front hole. At least the adults here didn't whip out a diagram with isometric drawings instructing Skyler, Braden and Caden on how to work it and jerk it. But notice how the children, who were on board with "I love pizza" and "I love Shawn Mendes" got a little silent when it came to the "It's okay to make love to yourself" conversation. Leads me to believe this isn't just a dramatization of exactly what's happening in schools near you. See also Texas School District Rolls Out Transgender Education for 8-Year-Olds and OPINION: Children Can’t Consent to Sex But It’s Okay to Sex Change Them?

Which brings me to my final point I've made already. What in Gia's pleasure pot makes educators believe it is their role to teach children about love or sexual stimulus at all? Listen, I don't want to sound like some puritanical prude wagging my finger and insisting we all do it missionary style. But I am wondering what in the Flying Spaghetti Monster's butthole business it is of "educators" to teach children on anything other than math, history, English and science? Seriously, I'm asking here. Are we really out of subjects on which to instruct the young crumb-crunchers, we must resort to "genital stimuli"?

You are not a crazy backwoods weirdo for wanting to homeschool that which you created via traditional sexual reproduction. In case you wanted my blessing, you have it.

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