You may have a few questions about the wage gap. Like "Why won't feminists shut up about it?" They'd say because it's a real thing, the solution to which is topless protesting. Silly, I know. But plot twist, the wage gap is real in certain cases. Like this one, where female CEOs bring in a much different annual sum than their male equivalents.

Spoiler: it's way bigger...

Female chief executives are out-earning their male counterparts at some of the nation's largest businesses.

Women in the top roles at the biggest U.S. companies out-earned men in six out of the past seven years, The Wall Street Journal reports. Some 21 female chief executives earned a median compensation of $13.8 million in 2016, compared to 382 male chief executives that earned a median compensation of $11.6 million.

Women still comprise a disproportionately low percentage of all chief executive officers, notching nearly 5 percent of the total in 2016. Despite their low representation, however, female chief executives took three of the 10 spots for highest paid CEOs in 2016.

Firstly, congrats to these ladies for succeeding in doing things.

You'd think this discovery would be enough to sate the howling she-beasts who demand "income equality." Clearly there are opportunities in America for women to become the top earners of the nation (unlike, say, Syria), as evidenced by these boss ladies. These women who chose to pursue powerful positions - not blogging for Salon.com - are doing just fine. Better than fine. They wear Manolo Blahnik, not Birkenstocks.

As studies like this pop up more and more, feminists hardly bat dandruff-riddled eyelashes at them. In fact, it seems they continue their bitchfest at an alarming rate. Despite women rising in the ranks and the pay grades. These studies aren't good enough for feminists, because top female earners tend to have purple pit hair and dreads. Head fake. It's skills and work ethic. Two traits absent among feminism's hairy, whining ranks.

Instead of considering this proof of equal opportunity, the legion of leftist whiners ignores these facts and instead demands the world give them EVEN MOAR free things and a million dollar salary. You know, for "equality."

A friendly word of advice for frumpy feminist fatlings: want to make more money? Get better at doing things. Like these gals. Spend less time watching your leg stubble grow and more time setting goals and getting crap done. Make your career, not your weakling cause, a priority. And make sure that career serves a greater purpose than checking the upchuck reflexes of all human beings with corrected 20-20 vision.

Or stick to gender studies and painting portraits of menstruating Jesus. The choice is yours...

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