We've got some crazy climate activists in this country. Like, whoa (see Miley Cyrus Rants Against Climate Change During Festival Show and Green New Deal Architect: Climate Change is 25 Holocausts). But we're no Europe. They have groups called "Extinction Rebellion." And do things like spray fake blood on government buildings.

Unfortunately, being vegan doucheburritos has left them too weak to properly grip the hose. That's what she said?

The group, "Extinction Rebellion," said it sprayed 1,800 liters of red paint at the Treasury, although much seemed to miss its target. The group protested the Treasury for what it viewed as stymying other government agencies' efforts to combat climate change, displaying a sign reading "Stop Funding Climate Death."

I saw Climate Death open for Slayer in 1993.

Here's what I don't understand about climate change zealots. They block traffic. They litter while they rally "to save the earth." They spray red liquid on buildings, which then sprays all over the street and most likely in the sewage system. Who are you convincing to join your cause? Because as someone who believes in being a good steward of Mother Earth but calls some of your claims into question, nothing you do makes me want to reconsider and go all in. If anything, it makes me want to throw a bigger brisket on my smoker. Then buy it from a supermarket instead of a sustainable farm. Just to be a spiteful dick.

Exit question: where the hell did they get a fire engine? And was the paint at least non-toxic?

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