Welcome to 2020, we're still doing stupid things. Here's the setup. Dan Scavino, who is Assistant and Director of Social Media in Trump's White House, shared a short video showing a man trying to steal a Trump/Pence yard sign only to get zapped with electricity. Or so the video claims to show. Whether or not it's a prank video, staged, or shows a truth, I don't know. What I do know is property rights are a thing and you have the right to defend your property and laugh at those who refuse.

You are not a bad person for enjoying this. You are a borderline silly person for taking it far too seriously, but we'll get to that in a second.

Now, real or not real? Don't know. But let's not pretend there isn't a shortage of social justice snotwads who've vandalized Pro-Trump things just because it's rule numero uno in the Idiot's Guide to Tolerance.

But really, that should've been it. Dan shared a video from long ago. All it is is funny. We could've been done there. We're not, though. Because here comes a blue checkmark who got too many likes on a tweet calling the property owner in the video above "a psycho."

The news is kind of slow today, ergo I've decided why not. Let's talk about it.

Now what I don't want is for everyone to pile on Jeryl Bier. While he's a blue checkmark, it's not like he's Clint Howard's Brother. I'm just putting Jeryl's tweets here to illustrate a larger point that some people don't like it when they take their personal rights into their own hands.

So firstly, the kind of person who electrifies that which he suspects might be stolen or vandalized isn't a psycho. He's a genius. A genius I would annex into my tribe if he lived near me. For some reason I see this Trump sign homeowner as Carl Fredrickson from Up! Old. Crotchety. Straight outta f*cks. My kind of person.

Let's also admire that lawn work. Carl hired himself a landscaper or he landscapes it his darn self. I'm just saying "Carl" because I don't know if the homeowner is a Carl, a Carol, or a pair of lesbians living the dream of both agreeing that landscaping adds value to the home, let's make a date of Home Depot.

Jeryl was first bothered that the video which may not even be real, though the edging of that grass sure is, was shared by someone working at the White House. I don't see how this is relevant since we passed "is this presidential behavior" when Bill Clinton played the sax on a late night show. But sure, let's be bothered about it.

He was further triggered that some poor child might wander where they shouldn't and get a jolt of reality.

Again, Jeryl is but a vessel of the dumb. I'm not here to mock Jeryl for these takes, only the takes themselves. But I do wonder why Twitter hasn't doled out a blue checkmark to me when Jeryl has one of his own. A gripe for another time.

Let me make this clear to any and all leftists, and to you, the fabulous conservative reading this post instead of working at your day job. You have the right to defend your property. You have the right to advocate for the defense of property by sharing the defense of property, even if you work for Donald Trump. Even if you work for Joe Biden. Even if you work for Andrew Yang and you've been caught shooting whipped cream into the yaps of kneeling supporters.

Should some impish child find himself on your pristinely manicured lawn, only to reach out and grab a political sign with little jam hands, and receive a shockerooni, that's not your fault. Why is a child which is not your own on your property grabbing things with its sticky hands? Call CPS on the parents. If an older child, say a next-door neighbors' teenage son, who's once again lost control of the basketball, is on your lawn touching your property and wrecking your plants, he deserves to get shocked. Yes, I am taking events from my own life, why do you ask? I just wish in the moment I had a shock device on hand. I could've pushed a button much faster than rushing to slide open my office window to scream "Get off my property." A moment I enjoyed far more than I should have.

If you've yet to come up with a New Years Resolution, may I recommend joining our club of "Get Off My Lawn." We won't have meetings, we'll just revel in our curmudgeony ways.

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