No wonder people like Rachael Dolezal and Shaun King want to be black. Being white is taxing. First there was white guilt, then white privilege, now comes the latest term in the leftist, social justice warrior closet of racism: White Wounding.

Scratching your head?

White wounding is a concept fabricated invented by a leftist "journalist" (redundant) and critical media studies researcher (whatever that means) Jesse Benn over at HuffPo (now it's making sense). The entire article is as logical as a toddler's monochromatic finger painting, and not nearly as fun. But we slogged through it so you wouldn't have to. That's probably white work ethic or something. KIDDING.

Let's dig in.

The primary question for white anti-racists then, should ask how we can accelerate the break up of white supremacy, rather than what type of whiteness should come next--or if we can rid ourselves of whiteness altogether.

Firstly, Benn's statement of "white anti-racists" presupposes that all white people are racist. They're not. Secondly, breaking up white supremacy? Someone should tell this guy that our president is black. And one of the richest women in the world is black, and a Republican presidential candidate, retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson, is black. What white supremacy is this guy talking about? Thirdly, if you're white (how dare you), you need to "rid yourself of your whiteness." Benn doesn't give clear instructions on how to best achieve that, but maybe the toddler's finger paints will help. Bathe yourself in paint and delusion, and give it nice long sniff while you're at it. Methinks Benn's had a whiff or two.

And so, often, white people working toward racial justice do so with an eye toward creating a new version of whiteness, rather than dealing with whiteness as it exists.

Here's why Dolezal and King are ahead of the times. They created a new version of whiteness and called it blackness and they're sticking to it. These people are visionaries. VISIONARIES. We shall erect color-changing monuments in their honor.

Benn's definition of "whiteness"

A whiteness that can offer an alternative to the painful reality of what whiteness really is--oppression, exclusion, undue harm, undue benefit, privilege, and supremacy.

And now for the pièce de résistance:

White people need to open ourselves up to a particular type of wounding to genuinely understand and then work toward racial justice. Our comfort and privilege generally keeps us from incurring these wounds naturally, and thus they must be sought out, disseminated, and used to motivate action.

...People marked as non-white walk around with visible and invisible scars, deal with the opening of new and the reopening of old wounds, and face constant reminders of the harm done at their expense on behalf of whiteness.

So all you white people out there? First of all, how dare you for being white. Look at all the harm you've put on everyone around you for your whiteness. You didn't take the white guilt seriously enough, you've mishandled your white privilege, so as punishment, you must now self-inflict white wounding on your racist white self. Teach yourself a lesson, open up the wounds of whiteness and bleed the whiteness out.

Okay, seriously, this is asinine and ridiculous. "White wounding"? For realizes? I'm calling it, people. The emperor has no clothes, and that dude is white. Also he's got a schwance, no matter how he identifies.

With all this cultural, racist BS going on, is it really any wonder we have walking examples of delusion like Rachael Dolezal and Shaun King? Those idiots do not want to be white. With all this cultural "racist" rhetoric flying around, is it hard to see why these transracial people exist?

There was a time not long ago when being a good, decent person depended on having a good, decent character. Not anymore. Not, at least, if you're white.