Let's be clear at the outset, it is Courtney Kirchoff writing this post, not Steven Crowder. Yes, he is aware of this post. He's not aware of the spider nest I hid in his bedroom. Shhh... don't tell.

Donald Trump was never my favorite candidate. Or person. Speech-giver. But my lack of enthusiasm for Trump doesn't mean I do not understand why he's appealing to millions of Americans. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that as soon as one criticizes Trump -- in any way -- his supporters claim they're being misunderstood? If you've always been a Trump supporter, trust me, I understand you. In fact I wrote about Trump's appeal a year ago: Why Donald Trump Has Won American Hearts: A Conservative Woman's Take. So get off my back. More importantly, stop crying about being "misunderstood." If you need something to cry about, think of all your fellow Americans who are still pulling the lever for Hillary. Despite her being... Hillary. Read'em and weep.

Which is why I'm voting for The Donald. Not because I believe Trump would make a good president. But because Hillary would be a worse one. Which is the understatement of the year.

Sure, that's sincerity.

Yep, it's the lesser of two evils argument. Surprised? Of course you're not. How many of you are voting the orange-coiffed billionaire because the alternative is, at bare minimum four years of shrill, cackling hell. Except this time it may not just be a figure of speech. The more we've learned about Hillary these past two weeks, the more "Hillary is the devil" meme becomes less of a joke. I wish I could laugh about that, but looking at the recent poll numbers... no. Despite Hillary's flagrant abuse of our laws, many Americans will still vote Hillary. Millions will simply try to elect the She Devil simply because she's a she. While insisting they're not sexists.

There's still time for the meteor to wipe us all out. Let's have a little faith.

No, I'm really not happy about voting for Trump. He neither excites me nor does he make me proud. No chants of "The Wall" or "Making America Great Again," are going to endear me to the "Trump Train." Sorry. What would've excited me was an expert and admirer of the Constitution. Alas. Not even close.

If not a meteor, perhaps a hurricane of frogs?

Because here's the deal, Donald Trump's policies are wishy-washy at best. At worst, they run counter to my conservative beliefs, specifically those beliefs which value the Constitution for the freedom it protects. Based on his past statements about laws, I'm not sure Trump understands the Constitution, specifically the Bill of Rights. A misunderstanding of the Constitution is the kindest way I can frame the following:

1. Trump's said he would like to sue the press for criticizing him (a violation of the First Amendment). Not really what Tommy Jefferson and Benny Franklin had in mind.
2. Trump's said he's fine with "No fly, no buy." Which limits the Second Amendment rights of Americans. Granted the Founders probably didn't think we'd reach the skies, but methinks none of them would condone limiting American rights sans due process. You know, with all their dealings with corrupt kings. Just spitballing.
3. I'm also not thrilled with greater governmental involvement in businesses. So any candidate who comes along with promises to punish a business for taking their work overseas? No Bueno. And yes, Donald Trump has said as much.

Got that, Trump fans? Donald Trump has never claimed to be a conservative. To try and bend yourself into cheesy garlic pretzel saying he is just insults everyone else's intelligence. So stop it. I'm still voting for the coo-coo head despite him being a populist with a bumper sticker slogan which he seems to have on repeat.

I'm not going to pretend Donald Trump is anything other than what he is. People show you who they really are, you just need to be wise enough to see it. Anyone who either misunderstands the Constitution (best case scenario) or dismisses the Constitution does not a good presidential candidate make.

Which is why Donald Trump would make a far better president than Hillary Clinton.

The van is the USA. The explosion is Hillary.

Look, we've gone over Hillary's ways. We've covered the rapescapade coverups. We've covered Benghazi. I want to be really clear: Despite my hesitations about Trump, despite all of Trump's personal character flaws, his crass words, bragging about... grabbing things (Gawd he sucks), or Constitutional misunderstandings (best case scenario), in a side-by-side comparison with Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump is practically angelic.

Yes, they're both crappy candidates. But Hillary Clinton, as I've written for months, is political corruption personified. Her velociraptor claws creep all the way into the FBI, the DOJ, and who knows what else. She isn't dirty, she's rancid. It's not even over, we're still learning more of her corruption, each new revelation more disgusting. She's like The Walking Dead, each new episode is increasingly gratuitous, to the point where you simply want to hit the "off" button. Only this time, America... There is no off button.

And that's what it comes down to. Frankly I don't want the United States of America to be subject to whatever Hillary Clinton's next move may be. If we examine her past, we can derive a relatively decent picture of where her future. She offers no hope, she offers no change. Hillary Clinton offers our country nothing but a swift ride into the dark tunnels of political depravity. And you can no longer claim "you didn't know" that Hillary is anything but a double-dealing, fork-tongued, duplicitous witch.

So I'm voting Trump. Not because I like him. Not because I think he's going to be a good president. I'm not certain he will be. But I am certain Hillary, if elected, will be a cataclysmic disaster.

Written by Courtney Kirchoff