I sometimes feel like woke people are trolling us. No serious person uses words like "chestfeeding." Or shuts down stage productions when they realize they accidentally cast too many white people. But no, these permaoffended woke nincompoops walk among us. At a Presbyterian church in New England, one minister finds the concept of the American "melting pot" to be problematic. What he wants to change it to is problematic in a different way. It depends on how childish you feel like being. (h/t The Post Millennial)

"One of the things we talked about was how problematic the idea of the 'melting pot' is in our American culture. One better metaphor is a tossed salad. And that ties into the notion that it's not about not seeing color. It's about valuing the diversity. Savoring it. Appreciating it."

Two issues with Reverend Trying too Hard's analogy. The first is, as I'm sure many of you snickering at your keyboard right now know, tossed salad or "tossing the salad" has sexual connotations. It involves your mouth, someone else's butt, and a healthy amount of horrible decisions. The ranch dressing-looking panelists might enjoy tossing each other's salads. The rest of America has better things to do with all the body parts involved.

Also, the analogy doesn't work. The "Salad bowl" idea is terrible. It's the theory that "society can integrate different cultures while maintaining their separate identities" like the ingredients of a salad. Have you ever eaten a salad? Besides the fact salad sucks ass (pun intended), the individual ingredients make it easier to pick out the ones you don't like. Usually the olives.

What the melting pot theory says is that, sure, some of us are cheese. Some of us are onions. Some of us are cream. Some of us are chilies. Some of us are assorted spices. But together we make delicious queso. THAT's what America is all about.

You have a bowl of queso and a bowl of salad on the table. You're choosing the queso. Unless you're a woke scholar who eats @$s.

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