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CultureMarch 26, 2021
Vegans of Color Unite Against the Scourge of White Veganism for Some Reason
Leftists have completely destroyed my ability to detect satire. I used to have a finely tuned satirical radar that instantly identified what's a cleverly crafted sketch and what's woke douchelords being woke douchelords. It's been overworked and is currently on the fritz. As God as my witness, I have no idea if this is real or not.
Vegans of color taking a stand against —*deep sigh* — "white" veganism.
Just when you thought vegans couldn't get more annoying pic.twitter.com/GkPcszX38p
— Chrissie Mayr🕳🐇 (@ChrissieMayr) March 25, 2021
When you fail to account for white supremacy in veganism, you get white veganism.
We must address the role of white supremacy and the oppression it creates regardless of if we are vegan or not.
White veganism focuses solely on animal liberation while ignoring the context of colonization and imperialism and how all of this affects all human beings and the planet.
There's more, but I felt we could all use a break. Also, rest in peace, Jessica Walter.
Not all white people vegans are "white vegans."
Our veganism must be intersectional, accessible, anti-racist, anti-imperialist, and decolonized.
I have no idea what most of those words mean.
This has to be a comedy troupe. Vegans are an easy target. The lack of eating delicious meat leaves them without the energy to fight back. Plus, no upper body strength. Vegans are known for not having a sense of humor and being easily triggered at all the things. Which, I get it. If I went through life never knowing how orgasmic BBQ is to all five senses, I'd be an insufferable prick too. Keeping all that in mind, I can easily see a handful of improv players pulling this off. You're on TikTok and you don't think vegans are woke enough. Now, GO!
It has to be. The only other alternative is that these are real people trying to make "white veganism" a thing. Because being a vegan isn't obnoxious enough. Let's throw gender studies and critical race theory on top of it! There are people who woke up one morning and chose violence by destroying what's left of satire. It makes me sad.
Then I remember I'm smoking a brisket tomorrow and I feel awesome instead.
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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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