Imagine being such a hateful biyatch you get so angry over seeing the words "Israel" and "school" that you would crash your car through a building. Now imagine being such a stupid biyatch you don't know "Israel" and "Israelite" are two different things. And that Hebrew Israelites hate the Jews as much as you do. You would be failed Indiana terrorist Ruba Almaghtheh.

Failed may be the wrong word. She succeeded in the terrorist act. She just confused targets. Indy police are the ones labeling her a terrorist. What with her committing an act of terror, even if she is a complete moron.

Here's the story. Almaghtheh was sitting at home, no doubt admiring the Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar posters she had hanging up in her bedroom. From a distance, a TV was on, and the news was reporting on the Israel-Hamas war. Being pro-Hamas, Almaghtheh grew angry and remembered she had driven past a school that had the word "Israel" on it. Or, a version of the word "Israel" on it, followed by the word "school." This was no time for details.

Friday night, Almaghtheh backed her car into what she called "the Israel school" while there were adults and children inside. Police were called to the scene. Upon arrest, Almaghtheh referenced “her people back in Palestine” multiple times and told police, “Yes. I did it on purpose.”

Here's where the DERP comes in. It wasn't the "Israel school," as in with Jewish students. It was the Israelite School of Universal and Practical Knowledge, as in the “extreme and antisemitic” sect of the extreme and antisemitic Black Hebrew Israelites. The preachers you can find on the street corner complaining about how much they hate Jewish people. They're considered by some to be the "longest-running show on Broadway."

Almaghtheh was initially charged with a preliminary charge of criminal recklessness. Her being labeled a terrorist and why the FBI was called comes from her also admitting to the "hate crime" during her one phone call to a relative.

Ruba Almaghtheh thought she was honoring Allah. Instead, Allah is all like, "New phone, who dis" while she sits in a jail cell. It feels good to laugh.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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