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A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about the national embarrassment that is our astronauts stranded in outer space.

Quick reminder:

Butch Wilmore and Sunita Williams went to space on June 5, 2024 for an eight day test mission to ISS. Boeing's space junk failed and now they're stuck up there until February of 2025 unless Elon Musk can rescue them because we are no longer a serious country.

Well, there's an update.

Imagine you're one of two people alone on the International Space Station. You don't really have anything to say to Butch anymore because he knows all your opinions on the tube-meat you've been forced to survive on. You're starting to think about growing potatoes in your own waste just to spice up the menu.

You're waiting to swing around near a Starlink satellite soon because you were only supposed to be up her for eight days and you've run out of books on your Kindle and Elon is the only one who can save you, even if it's only from boredom.

And you hear a knock at the door.

Okay, so it's not exactly what happened, but holy sh*t, it seems like it.

Audio has surfaced of Butch Wilmore reporting to NASA that Boeing's Starliner capsule was emitting a strange sound.

Nightmare fuel.

But, don't be alarmed. NASA says it's nothing to worry about.

"The feedback from the speaker was the result of an audio configuration between the space station and Starliner," NASA said, adding that it's "common" to experience noise and feedback. The statement said the "pulsing sound" has stopped.

Nice try, NASA. I know a horror movie when I see one.

At this point, the question isn't if Butch and Suni have been replaced by shape-shifting aliens but when.

We demand a test!

In all seriousness, this story is still stupid and absurd. I don't know who to be more disappointed in: NASA or Boeing. Maybe the answer is America. Butch and Suni should be home by now, should have been home weeks ago.

We are not a serious country. We are not a serious people.

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Kate works in production at LwC. She is an author. When she isn’t writing...who are we kidding? She’s always writing. You can find her here on X.