As we all know, Ukrainian President Zelenskyy is very busy fighting off Russian troops. Well, that, and asking Congress for a few more billion dollars. And fear-mongering about World War III. Plus a few Vogue photoshoots. He's a man of many ventures.

But for the second year in a row, Zelenskyy has been snubbed by the Oscars. That's right, he went to the trouble of taking time off from dodging bombs in Kyiv just so he could make an appearance. And those selfish Hollywood elites didn't want him. Apparently, WME talent agent Mike Simpson begged the Academy to give Zelenskyy a virtual appearance slot. But it was a fruitless effort.

Now, you may be wondering why a talent agent is trying to get Zelenskyy a slot at the Oscars. Apparently, it's because Simpson is the agent for Aaron Kaufman, who co-directed the Zelenskyy documentary “Superpower,” with Sean Penn. Yes, Zelenskyy had a documentary made about him. While he's still fighting a war that apparently implicates the entire world. Totally normal.

During press events for the documentary, Penn called for the U.S. government to step up its military support for Ukraine, including “the delivery and supply of long-range precision missiles." So, come on taxpayers, step it up. Ukraine needs some new missiles, on top of the $72308499 billion they've already gotten from us. (I've stopped counting at this point. Math is hard.)

Penn has a bit of a history of kissing Zelenskyy's rear end. Last year, he demanded a boycott of the Oscars if Zelenskyy was snubbed an invite, and even claimed he would melt his trophies in protest. Because nothing sticks it to the Academy like molten metal. And then, last November, Penn actually traveled alllll the way to Ukraine to give Zelenskyy his Oscar. No really, this happened. For what did Zelenskyy deserve an Oscar, you ask? A good question. And one I, unfortunately, don't have an answer for.

This is bordering on 2020-Fauci levels of creepish hero worship. Next thing we know, Penn will start selling Zelenskyy face pillows. No one give him any ideas.