We haven’t written much Hillary’s e-mails (see Gauntlet Thrown: Trey Gowdy Says Even God Can’t Read Hillary’s Emails… and Hillary Now Blames E-Mails on Colin Powell? He Proceeds to Take Zero Crap…). Why? Because there’s SO MUCH to attack Clinton for, we knew our colleagues had that covered. Also, how many times can you call Hillary a lying liar who lies without playing out the pantsuit jokes? But you know, “covering the news” and all that. Plus the scandal was hard to avoid when she kept lying and lying about it. See previous comment about all the lies.
So here we are again. But this time the news isn’t about how Hillary’s pantsuits are on fire. Yes, another pantsuit joke. Come on, you know you like them. This time the news? A massive email document dump. On a Friday. Before Labor Day weekend.
In other words, the news isn’t how Hillary is a weasel who fashions jackets out of tarps. It’s that the FBI and media hoped no one would noticed the doc dump.
You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to use that GIF. Well… pretty much since whoever made that GIF. I’m not even sure my using it there was perfect, but a person can only wait so long.
So let’s get to the goods, yeah?
Hillary wiped her e-mails three weeks after the initial NYT story…
This is crazy. 3 weeks after NYT publish Clinton email server story, there was a big wipe of her emails conducted pic.twitter.com/tlO0KJWYgz
— Chris Cillizza (@TheFix) September 2, 2016
Probably a coincidence. Or a major right-wing conspiracy. Like Bill Clinton’s rapescapades. New word. I’m trademarking that crap. Speaking of words and definitions…
She doesn’t know that the letter C stands for “Classified…”
Clinton told FBI she didn't know a "(C)" denoted classified information. She "could only speculate it was… marked in alphabetical order.”
— Steven Portnoy (@stevenportnoy) September 2, 2016
She wants to run the country. Your country. She was Secretary of State. She’s claiming she didn’t know how classified information was denoted. President. She’s running for it. But let’s go with her for a second. What else could “C” stand for? If you’re Secretary of State. Some ideas: Cow pose (yoga), Cat pose (yoga, usually follows cow), Crow pose (never try to imagine Hillary doing Crow), Chelsea, chow, chimichanga, cream cheese, come hither Huma, and “Call me Maybe.” Just spit-balling.
She disappeared and destroyed Blackberries…
“[Huma] Abedin and [former Clinton aide Monica] Hanley indicated the whereabouts of Clinton’s [mobile] devices would frequently become unknown once she transitioned to a new device,” one report indicates.
On other occasions, a staffer would destroy Clinton’s old mobile phones “by breaking them in half or hitting them with a hammer,” the FBI documents reveal.
Standard operating procedure, I’m sure. Let’s not be too judgy. When you get a new phone, don’t you smash the old one with a hammer? After breaking it in half? I do. I want the new phone to know who’s in charge here. ME. Don’t disrespect me, or you get the HAMMER.
I’m sure she didn’t destroy the phone to make sure data couldn’t be recovered. That’s just plain paranoia. Also, sexist.
And one of her laptops is missing…
A personal laptop computer used to archive Hillary Clinton’s e-mails when she was secretary of state went missing after being put in the mail, according to the FBI’s report on its investigation into her use of a private e-mail system. E-mails that Clinton sent and received through her private server during her tenure were archived on the laptop in 2013 by a person who was an assistant to former President Bill Clinton, the FBI said in its heavily redacted investigative report released Friday.
Oh, found it!
The plan is, of course, for everyone to forget about this once the three day weekend is over. That’s the plan. The strategy for releasing this big of a story, on the last holiday weekend of the summer.
Well bummer, because it’s pouring down rain in “my neck of the woods.” So I’m all hopped up on coffee and ready with the gifs.
We’re not going to just let this one go. Hillary is the moral equivalent of mold, which grows on gum. Left stuck to the bottom of that old shoe you tossed out. Not just because the shoe was too small. No, no. You used to wear the shoe at your old job. Of cleaning dog crap.
The dog-crap-mold-on-gum-shoe is Hillary Clinton. She’s running to be your president. Scary thought? She might win.
Someone get me a bag to breathe in…
If this entire post isn’t enough for you, here are 5 more reasons Hillary Clinton is a disaster.