If you need a prime example of what's wrong with the environment, look no further than the Environmental Protection Agency. They're mucking up the ecosystem with the thoughtless gas bubbles erupting from their face holes. In case you aren't familiar, the EPA is a bureaucracy of environmentally-friendly buttholedom.

Their latest cause? Fining Alaskans for burning wood to keep warm...

“It’s all one thing — when you most need the heat is when you’re most apt to create a serious air pollution problem for yourself and the people in your community,” said Tim Hamlin, the director of the office of air and waste at the E.P.A.’s Region 10, which includes Alaska.

The E.P.A. could declare the entire area to be in “serious” noncompliance of the Clean Air Act early next year, with potentially huge economic implications, including a cutoff of federal transportation funds.

Residents are also trapped, he said, by economics. Natural gas, a much cleaner fuel source, is not widely available in this part of Alaska, and heating oil can be very expensive. Oil also produces particulate pollution, though less than wood. A study for the borough last year said residents here spent, on average, almost four times the national average in annual heating costs.

Fire? Bad. Death from exposure? Totes okay. According to the EPA, it's far better for our parka-clad Eskimo friends up north to become human popsicles. You know, rather than infect the air with a little smoke. At least they can rest assured knowing they'll be breathing clean air as they freeze to death.

This is why we don't take climate changers/environmentalists/human dumpsters seriously. Aside from their shoddy science, that is (see Environmentalists Underestimated Earth's Tree Numbers by... 2.5 Trillion?!).

If I had to wager a guess, people struggling to survive the elements don't have time to compost their turds. Or buy a Prius. But what do I know?

This isn't the first time environmentalists have leveled their sights on fellow humans (see Top 5 Environmentalists Who Support Killing Off Humans). You know them, anything for a buck. Or a lion. Or in this case, a few trees. Sure, there may be some people freezing to death collateral damage. But think of the environment...

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