Remember the one hit wunderkinds Ricky Martin? No? Okay, well he wrote a hit song late last century then slipped into virtual obscurity, only coming out when he came out as a homosexual. That guy. Also, he's hispanic. From Puerto Rico. Which means he's totally qualified to have an opinion on America's immigration policies. And boas.

Well now that Ricky Martin is no longer writing hit songs, he's got some spare time to write Op Eds going after Donald Trump for something the Donald did to Jorge Ramos, a reporter for Univision. Mainly that Donald told Ramos to stop being a jerk by interrupting his press conference. You know, politeness. Anyway, that was too much for Martin, who went a little loco:

Why would he [Trump] assume he has the right to make absurd, incoherent, and ignorant comments about us? From the beginning, his intent has been clear: To basically tell lies and offend us to stay in the public spotlight.

Here would be a great spot to cite some sources of all these basic lies the Trumpster has told about "us," which I assume means "Latinos," and not illegal immigrants. Or washed-up singers. Or men who enjoy other men. Let's assume it's Latinos. Did Martin cite these absurd, incoherent and ignorant comments? No. Maybe because it's hard to cite ones own imagination. But nice try, señor. Have another shot of tequila on us, pronto.

Yesterday’s episode involved one of the most admired and respected journalists in Hispanic media, Jorge Ramos, and it went too far.

Okay, again, here's the scuttlebutt on this "incident." Jorge Ramos was being an ass (un burro), interrupting Trump, interrupting other reporters, and acting, well... rude (muy malo). If you watch the video, you'll see how Ramos makes Trump look polite. For realizes (es verdad). Trump had Ramos removed (vamanos), and Ramos was later invited back into the press conference if Ramos could follow the same guidelines as all the other reporters in the press conference. It's kind of a metaphor for the illegal invasion of this country by line-cutters and rule-breakers who want everything without doing anything to deserve it. Yeah, those bastards (bastardos).

Jorge Ramos was doing his job as a journalist in a press conference, which he attended representing one of the world’s most important television networks for Hispanics and exercising his right of freedom of the press. Yet, Trump verbally assaulted and removed Jorge from the event without any apparent reason.

Oh Ricky. Sorry, but your amigo Jorge Ramos got upside, inside out on this one. Sorry, couldn't resist it. Ramos' credentials mean bupkis if he's breaking las regalas. And wow, the definition of "verbally assaulted" sure is getting wider. Maybe you should check with your English to Spanish translator on that one. Comprende?

If we have been united for some things, we must be united for all. We have already proven to the United States who we are as Latinos, and that we will not allow that type of behavior...

What have you proven as Latinos, Señor Martin? No really, curious minds want to know. Because one reason El Donaldo is riding high in the political polls is his stance on illegal immigration. So really, what do you know about your united Latinos that the rest of the United States does not? Share with us, por favor.

We have to stop the power that Trump feels he has over Latinos, and the xenophobic speech that he and his campaign team seem to be convinced will be successful.

Uh oh, see, you're doing it again, making stuff up. Okay, just because you don't like Donaldo el Trumpo saying that people who are here illegally shouldn't be here at all (because las regales y...stuff), and walls to keep illegal people out, and their babies being anchors, and la la la, doesn't equate to "xenophobic speech." Here in the Estados Unidos we call it "policy." Incidentally, if you want to get your pantalones all in a wad, look at Mexico's immigration policy, which is like muy stricto than ours.

But hey, even gay singers have a right to an opinion, si? Just next time, Ricky, sing it for us in a new hit song. Hasn't it been like, 16 years or so? Don't quit your day job.