If a genie were to grant me three wishes, I would use one to request invisible attendance to various committee meetings where notoriously bad ideas got thunk up and approved. Because someone in Mexico thought the battle against sexual assault on the metro system should begin with a fake penis. This idea is rivaled only by hijab Barbie, but not to be outdone by child sex dolls for pedophiles.

Here, educate your sexist self with a video:

The translation of the sign at the end, courtesy of Heat Street, is a "statistic" saying 90% of all women who ride the metro are sexually assaulted.

Some disclaimers before the impending lecture-fest:

1. Sexual assault is bad.
2. Men and women who assault others, sexually or otherwise, should be punished.
3. No one should be sexually assaulted.

Okay? Okay.

But riddle me this, penis-sculptor: how is a sculpture of a seat which is also a naked man (taking up valuable space on a subway train), going to stop hombres from sexually assaulting las mujeres? See, this is why I'm asking the genie for the invisible committee meeting attendance. Because I fail to see how this campaign will stem sexual assault on a train.

Oh sure, the campaign is to "erect raise awareness." I get that. People have to be aware of something before they can take action. But what action is that, exactly? Are sexual predators going to be shamed by a seat with a clay tallywhacker lying dormant like a snake on siesta? Will a would-be-rapist have second thoughts when he gazes upon subway seat showcasing a limp dick? When he's at Perverts Anonymous, will a sex predator fess up and say "I was going to cop a feel, but I saw a pene on a seat and decided to pin 'thinspiration' on my Pinterest instead"?

Right. I don't get it either. Here's how I envision the meeting where this was approved:

Jorge: We need to raise awareness about sexual assault on trains.

Jose: Let's make a seat with a penis on it.

Jorge:

I have an idea on ways to combat sexual assault against women: give women weapons with which to defend themselves. Preferably guns. But I'd settle for knives, pepper spray, tomahawks, nunchucks, or a portable stereo emitting Amy Schumer jokes about smelly vaginas. The last one is sure to make more than the subway seat dick limp.

Of course giving ladies the option of carrying weapons, while helpful to the ladies, will never be suggested in a corrupt government like El Mexico. Empowering ladies is but one talking point touted by many with virtue signaling, not solutions, in mind.

Text me when we put sculptures of guns outside of schools. To raise awareness about school shootings.

Now let's play gay vs. straight horse.

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