by Krystal Heath

It's the opening week of baseball season... the last week of March Madness (in April)... and most real sports fans are just waiting for hockey and football seasons to resume.  We kid, we kid!  We love ALL sports, equally.  Kind of.

In honor of this most momentous week in 2015 sports culture, we give you the President, a self-proclaimed athlete, vs. conservatives who are, actually, athletic.  Enjoy!

BASEBALL - Throwing like a girl is what we'd call it, if the below wasn't a complete insult to all females, everywhere.

Compare President Obama's wild pitching motion to the signature perfect strike of former President George W. Bush:

BASKETBALL - nothin' but bricks for the President's favorite sport!  Ouch.

But you know, Sarah Palin was a real high school basketball star.  Talk about shootin' like a girl!

GOLF - 200 plus rounds.  Really slow rounds.  Like 5 and 6 hours slow.  That's what happens when you're a 20+ handicap, I suppose...

Compare that to President George H.W. Bush - who's in the World Golf Hall of Fame.  He was given the PGA of America Distinguished Service Award in 1997 and the USGA's 2008 Bob Jones Award and the PGA TOUR Lifetime Achievement Award in 2009.  Not only could the man golf, he made huge contributions to the sport itself!

BOWLING - we didn't even know it was possible to bowl a 37 until Barack Obama became President and promptly showed us how it's done!  Just.  So.  AWKWARD.

President Nixon may be best remembered for Watergate, but he was also an avid sports fan.  President and Mrs. Nixon both enjoyed bowling, and in 1969 had a one-lane alley built beneath the North Portico of the White House using private funds.  His high score?  A pretty impressive 232.

FOOTBALL - Barack Obama said he'd never let his son play football.  Considering how he himself "plays" football (and most other sports), that's probably best.

Did you know Ronald Reagan attended Eureka College in Illinois on an athletic scholarship?  He played football, ran track, captained the swim team, AND served as student council president.  Now there's a man's man for you.

BIKING - the Presidential picture that's worth a thousand words.  Seriously.

President George W. Bush does some biking of his own.  Real biking.  With wounded warriors.  Across deserts.  And mountains.  It's a 100K.  AWESOME.