America is getting ever closer to flipping all the birds to the chaotic Middle East and all its caustic drama. Who knows, maybe one day soon, America's memo to OPEC will be "Go eat your effing oil. Expletive, expletive." Because word on the street is Texas is shaping up to be the third largest oil producer. In the world.

America. F*ck yeah:

Plunging drilling costs have sparked an explosion of production out of the Permian Basin of West Texas. In fact, Texas is pumping so much oil that it will surpass OPEC members Iran and Iraq next year, HSBC predicted in a recent report.

If it were a country, Texas would be the world's No. 3 oil producer, behind only Russia and Saudi Arabia, the investment bank said.

Shorter:

Here's how it's being done:

Much of the excitement in Texas centers around the Permian Basin. Some oil execs believe the amount of oil in the Permian rivals Saudi Arabia's Ghawar Field, the world's largest conventional oilfield.

Expect the number of Prius drivers to go the way of Amy Schumer fans.

Rapid technological advances have dramatically brought down the cost of pumping oil everywhere, especially out of the Permian. Wells there can be profitable below $40 a barrel.

This is obviously great news. For America. Especially the state of Texas, which will see its profits and coffers rise faster than the tempers of Saudi mullahs. Oh well. But there are some kinks. The massive oil expansion for Texas doesn't come without growing pains. Texas will have to create infrastructure to handle the flow of liquid gold, and quickly.

There's also an employee shortage, what with a low national unemployment rate, and a very low unemployment rate in Texas. So if you, the person reading this post, is without a job... I'm just saying. There's a crap ton of them in Texas, in oil. Don't be that Gimli look-alike who sued his parents for kicking him out of the house. Go get yourself a sweet oil job in Texas, then buy a big ass Texan casa.

Also, as overall oil prices come down, due to the rising supply of oil, guess who else wins: everyone who uses oil. Like all of us who drive our own cars. Even those of us who have massive cars. Not the European box "cars" better left for Italian jobs.

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